Weather they be a manifest, commandments, rules, or just sayings - we all have that personal code we stand by.
Gretchen Rubin established a set of "rules" to help her through her Happiness Project. These were sayings she lived by, things she already knew but ones that brought her happiness and helped her stay happy. So I have started the list of the things I mutter to myself when really all I want to do is scream out loud. They are my mantras I repeat to myself when that person in front of me doesn't hold open the door.
Less is more.
No, really, take that last piece of jewelry off. Simple things can often be the most efficient. Its about taking that moment to realize that the clutter isn't always as beautiful as simplicity. But it even goes further. Maybe you don't need to tell the whole story that's going through your mind, only use the highlights (or maybe just don't say anything)
You get what you give.
Why yes that is the name of my favorite song courtesy of the '90s one-hit-wonder The New Radicals. But think about it, its karma bitch. I'm not going to get mad at the person in front of me who didn't hold open the door, because I didn't hold it open for that old lady yesterday. You want a birthday card from your friend you haven't talked to in 5 years? Then maybe you should send one out to. Its about the balance of give and take. I want my husband to notice that I do the dishes everyday, but I have to give something back in return.
It is what it is.
Ok, so this wan't my saying. It came from A. But his saying has become my saying. If you can't change it, don't worry about it. Its not worth your time and effort of stressing if its never going to change, or if you don't have control. Sometimes you just have to do what your boss tells you it.
Cut the crap! If its something that has to get done, just do it - NOW. Don't wait till tomorrow, don't put it on a sticky note, because guess what - sticky notes loose their stickiness and fall away. Then all of a sudden you find yourself paying late fees on all of your bills and in a mountain of debt with no clean underwear and ants crawling over your dirty dishes (partly true). To quote Nike - "Just do it!"
I know it can be hard. But take a moment and listen. (Put down the sponge, turn, look, and listen) You don't need to see all the small details, but noticing the small things can help make you appreciate whats important.
I'm kind of tacking this one on as a whim. But the word has been circling through my head of late. I'm almost using it as a reminder to myself. "No, you do love this". Coming from Philly now, the word is everywhere too. Love Park in Philadelphia is a symbol of brotherly love. It is important to put love out into the world. Love the people in your life. Remember that you do love to do your hobbies, they aren't chores.
Yes, listen to what your mother taught you "Honesty is the best policy." But what I have realized is that it's important to be honest with yourself. I hate doing dishes. But what I really hate more is the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. So "Cut the crap" and do your chore. I hate dirty clothes lying around. Instead of letting them lay around waiting for someone else to pick them up, I do it - because I hate to see them there. Realize why you are doing something, and not just that you are doing it. There is a reason, what is it?
Practice what you preach.
I'm writing this blog right? So I have to be accountable to it. I can't let you down. I have to do what I say I'm going to do. Which is also true for may things - pay your bills, go to the gym. Just don't lie to yourself. You'll let yourself and the ones you love down.
Ok - that turned into me preaching like I know everything... Sorry!
But these are the things I tell myself. I have found that these little reminders are the things that keep me going. I can also say that I have said them to myself in my head and my attitude changes. I stop being negative and just feel a little lighter.
Of course, the "code" doesn't always work, and its not always the first thing I think of. But its important. They are things I want to get better at also. I'm thinking of posting them somewhere, or maybe just a few that need more work get posted here and there. As a knitter, its a WIP (work in progress).